The Rebel Self Rebels: Finding a Sane Approach to Eating
"War requires at least two sides. When you decide that you will listen to yourself and
not to your calorie counter or your fears, there is nothing to rebel against.
There is nothing you can’t have tomorrow so there is no reason to eat it all today."
~Breaking Free by Geneen Roth"[Wom]en seldom, or rather never for a length of time and deliberately,
rebel against anything that does not deserve rebelling against." ~ Thomas Carlyle
Do you believe life would be better if you just followed the food rules—eat only healthy foods, no preservatives, in the correct amounts? In fact, isn't that what the food police (and other food "experts") tell you to do? The implication is that you cannot be trusted to handle your own food, or have control over your eating.
So you follow the rules and prepare to become healthy and lose weight and become more attractive, etc, etc.
But it is these very rules that make you feel out of control. Why?
The more you tell yourself, "No!", the more interested you become in those foods — the more you crave and become preoccupied with them. Then when you start eating them, you find it hard to stop.
Because these food rules are everywhere, you probably think they should work. So, when you inevitably “break” the rules, you believe you are weak willed, feel like a failure and try to get back to following the rules, or find new rules that will (finally) work.
In fact, food rules may become increasingly stringent while you become increasingly fearful that there is no alternative.
But there is something going on in the background that you may not realize -- you have a deeper knowing self that rebels against these food rules! This Rebel Self hates those imposed rules, hates the constraint, and hates the disrespect of these simplistic solutions. This Rebel Self knows that those rules are often based on false "facts" presented as truths and is insulted that those rules are not connected to our true needs. This Rebel Self is tired of the disrespect implied in, "Just follow this rule, it’s easy to get healthy or lose 10 pounds."
The Rebel Self Will Rebel
This Rebel Self, which often feels destructive, is actually in tune with our internal guidance systems. This Rebel Self knows that you have the innate ability to eat when hungry and quit when satisfied (and successfully manage your weight). The Rebel Self knows you were born with this ability, and that it is still present, even if pushed down and hidden.
The Rebel Self knows that you can actually do this better than any food rules, better than any program or professional could tell you. She/he knows that focusing on portions, or calories, or “healthy” low calorie eating is making it harder for you to manage your food intake. And is tired of it.
She/he also knows that listening to your own inner expert, your eating wisdom, is the only sane approach to eating.
This Rebel Self knows that if you really don’t like eating kale all the time, that it is probably not a good idea to eat it all the time, even if experts keep recommending that we eat lots of kale.
This Rebel Self knows, intuitively, that forcing ourselves to eat kale is a great way to eventually learn to hate kale.
On the other hand, perhaps eating kale once a week will allow you to truly appreciate it. And give you space to have that bagel, giving you some variety and perhaps ultimately more satisfaction.
So, although it may seem easier to follow the food rules or other healthy eating guidelines, it actually makes things worse. And if you listen closely inside, you will realize that your Rebel Self is sick and tired of being controlled and manipulated and of being told what to do. And is probably more than a bit irritated with it all.
And yes, that Rebel Self may overreact at times, and push you to eat those foods you were avoiding. And push you to eat extra, knowing you will try to go back to the limits, and rules and “No, you can’t have it” messages. The core of its reaction is "Don’t insult me with imposed rules." And that is worth listening to.
Because when you quit with the imposed rules and learn how to tap in to your own eating wisdom, that is when you break free and find true peace with food and eating.
Stay Attuned Tip
Can you find your Rebel Self? Food and eating can be so emotionally charged, it may be better to look for your Rebel Self in other areas initially.
This week, tune into your "gut" reactions to choices and decisions you make during your day. For instance, perhaps you will say “yes” when a part of you wanted to say “no”?
Do you sense a small voice saying, “OMG! What have you done?” That is your Rebel Self who know it was a bad idea to say “yes.”
As you tune in and hear your Rebel Self, ask yourself what truths about your needs and feelings is the rebel declaring?
As you learn to hear that inner voice, you will become better able to apply it to the world of food and eating. And then you will notice how struggles with food and eating are often simply a response imposed rules, constraint and the disrespect of simplistic solutions that are not connected to an inner knowing of your true needs.
. This Rebel Self knows that those rules are based on false "facts" presented as truths and is insulted that those rules are not connected to our true needs. This Rebel Self is tired of the disrespect implied in, "Just follow this rule,
Try on this Affirmation
"My rebel self is wise and worth listening to."
(If this blog has left you wondering how you will ever manage your eating and weight, make sure to check out the online courses at EatingWisdom.com. Or take this free quiz that will give you specific tips and suggestions based on your results.
About Eating Wisdom and Drs Karin and Hannah
We are two PhD level Registered and Licensed Nutritionists whose passion is to help others escape diet culture and to learn to use their natural, innate Eating Wisdom to, finally, find peace with food, eating and weight.
Check out our course, Intuitive Eating: How to Escape Diet Culture and Become an Empowered Eater,. plus we have lots of info and handouts (including the original Hunger Fullness Scale) at our website, www.EatingWisdom.com. We also offer 1:1 nutrition therapy. Take advantage of our combined 40+ years of experience and reach out today!
© 2018 Karin Kratina, PhD, RD, LDN.